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  “Fuck you, Brent. What the hell do you know?”

  “I know you’re leaving this house right now before I make you.”

  He tried to get up in my face but I put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back. The little shit was trying my patience. It wouldn’t be the first time my fist landed in his face for trying to come at my sister.

  “You think you’re such a big man, don’t you? Living it up in the city, flashing your cash whilst your sister fucks about with dickheads like Manny Smith and keeps pumping out kids like nobody’s business.”

  I clenched my jaw, grabbing him by the t-shirt and hustling him towards the front door.

  “You don’t know a single fucking thing about me. I suggest you keep your mouth shut. If I find out you’ve come around to harass my sister or my dad again, you won’t like the consequences.”

  He struggled in my grasp but I managed to get him to the front door and throw him out of the house.

  “Stay away from Cam and the kids, Sid. I mean it.”

  He stuck his middle finger up at me before walking backwards up the street. Idiot needed to learn he couldn’t just come here and start trouble. I slammed the front door shut, taking a deep breath and wishing I didn’t have to deal with this kind of shit for Cam on a regular basis.

  When I got back into the kitchen, Cam was glaring at Jen like she wanted nothing more than to tear Jen’s hair out.

  “Who the fuck is this, Brent?”

  Chapter Eleven

  Jennifer

  Brent stepped in front of me, putting himself between me and his sister. I had no idea what just happened, but I’d never seen Brent so worked up before. There was a second there where I thought he might punch his sister’s ex in the face. To be honest, it sounded like the guy deserved it. Did Brent have to deal with this kind of thing regularly?

  “Dante’s sister, Jen.”

  “Your boss? Why the fuck did you bring her up here? What’s she got to do with this?”

  “Quit with the attitude, Cam. I came and Sid’s gone, that’s what you wanted.”

  Brent’s sister looked like she’d been through a hard life. You could tell they were related. They had the same hair colour and eyes, but hers were dull and lifeless. She had nicotine stained teeth and nails. Her greasy hair hung limp around her shoulders as if she hadn’t washed it in weeks. I wasn’t judging but seeing Cam and this place made it very clear why he didn’t want me to come with him.

  “I don’t need you coming around here with some rich whore.”

  I stepped around Brent. I didn’t care if this was his sister, no one was going to get away with calling me a whore.

  “Excuse me, what did you just call me?”

  Brent tucked an arm around me and pulled me into his side. I looked up at him, finding his hazel eyes full of irritation.

  “Camilla Coleman, you’re going to take that back and apologise to Jen right now or so fucking help me, I will walk out and you won’t see another penny from me. Do you understand?”

  His sister crossed her arms over her chest and continued to glare at me. Well, holy shit. Did he mean that? My heart skipped a beat. Guys didn’t really come to my defence very often so this was something new for me. I was used to having to stand up for myself.

  “Yeah, right, as if you’d ever walk out on your own family.”

  “Watch me.”

  He turned us around and started towards the door. I wanted to ask him what the hell was going on, but his expression told me saying anything right now would only make it worse.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Home.”

  “You can’t just leave.”

  He ignored her and continued to pull me down the hallway towards the front door.

  “Brent!”

  I could hear footsteps behind us so I assumed his sister was following.

  “Are you sure we should go?” I asked quietly.

  “I’m not letting her talk to you like that.”

  “But she’s your sister.”

  He looked down at me with a frown as we reached the front door.

  “Cam needs to learn some fucking manners.”

  I wasn’t going to refute that. His sister didn’t seem like the type to say please or thank you. Even I was polite to people I’d just met regardless of my first impressions of them. And I certainly didn’t go around calling them whores.

  “Brent, please, I’m sorry,” Cam cried out from behind us.

  His hand stilled on the door handle.

  “You should be apologising to Jen, not me.”

  “Fuck, fine, I’m sorry I called you a whore, I didn’t mean it.”

  Brent turned us back around. Cam looked thunderous, but at least she’d said sorry even if it didn’t particularly sound genuine.

  “What is this anyway? Is she your girlfriend or something?”

  “No, we’re friends.”

  Cam rolled her eyes, her expression betraying her disbelief.

  “Then why’d you bring her?”

  “Because I did. Was Sid right? Have the girls grown out of their clothes?”

  She shrugged, looking down at her nails.

  “Yes.”

  Brent stiffened next to me.

  “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”

  “You told me not to call you unless it was an emergency.”

  “For fuck’s sake, you can’t let your kids go without, Cam. It’s not acceptable.”

  She glared at him before letting out a hacking cough.

  “Money’s tight. You know that.”

  He sighed, his arm tightening around me. I wondered why he hadn’t let go. I felt safe next to him so I wasn’t going to pull away. The way his sister kept giving me evils put me on edge. I hadn’t done anything except want to be here for Brent’s sake. I was trying to be a friend to him like Jensen told me to. That meant getting to know him and helping him when he needed it. I felt like this was one of those times.

  “It wouldn’t be if you didn’t fund your forty a day habit with what I give you and waste it on other shit you don’t need.”

  She didn’t respond, just shrugged again as if what he said meant nothing to her.

  “I’m going to pop in on Dad then Jen and I are leaving. We’ll be back tomorrow morning to take the girls to town and sort them out, got it?”

  “Fine, whatever. Their uncle saves the fucking day yet again.”

  “Watch your fucking mouth, Cam.”

  She scowled at him, but he ignored her, tugging me towards a door a few feet away. We entered a living room and an older man sat in a reclining armchair with a can of cider in his hand watching the TV with the volume up loud. He didn’t look up, but Brent let go of me and squatted down in front of him.

  “Hey Dad.”

  The older man turned towards Brent, giving him a nod.

  “Sid still here?”

  “No. How’s things?”

  “Same old.”

  He glanced over at me, his hazel eyes narrowing a little. Brent straightened and put a hand out to me. I walked over and stood next to him.

  “You remember I told you about Dante? This is his sister, Jen.”

  “Hello love.”

  “Hi Mr Coleman.”

  He gave me a nod before turning back to the TV. Brent took my hand and led me away. He didn’t say goodbye to his sister, merely took me back out to the car. He locked the doors after we got in. Pulling out his phone, he spent the next few minutes on it before setting off.

  “I think I understand why you didn’t want me to come with you,” I said after a long moment of silence.

  “Yeah, well, now you know what I came from.”

  The resentment in his voice made my gut twist.

  “You think that makes me see you differently?”

  He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, a scowl etched into his features.

  “I have no fucking idea w
hat you think of me any longer.”

  Was his irritation directed at me or was he still annoyed with his sister? Either way, I wasn’t about to let him take it out on me.

  “Are you pissed off at me?”

  He glanced over, eyes dark and the sight of them made me flinch.

  “Why would I be pissed? You didn’t give me any choice but to agree to let you come with me, you blow hot and cold on me every five minutes and I have no fucking clue what you want from me.”

  The thing is, I didn’t really know either. A part of me wanted to be his friend, but the other part wanted something else from him. Something I wasn’t willing to admit. If my life wasn’t so fucking complicated then perhaps I could allow myself to feel the things I did for Brent. But I wasn’t ready for that. Wasn’t prepared to let him in. I didn’t trust myself not to fuck it all up further. Therapy helped, but I wasn’t better yet. Not by a long shot.

  And then there was all the shit with Max. That made it all worse.

  “I told you, I want to be friends.”

  He didn’t respond to what I’d said and we spent the rest of the journey in silence. When we pulled up outside a hotel, he got out and grabbed our bags from the boot. He waited for me to get out before locking the car. I followed him in and waited whilst he spoke to the receptionist but didn’t pay much attention to what either of them were saying.

  Brent tugged my arm to get my attention and indicated the stairs with his head. We walked up together and along the hallway until he stopped outside a room and unlocked it.

  “Wait, are we staying together?”

  “Yes.”

  I walked in with him, frowning.

  “Why?”

  “Mostly because I want to keep an eye on you.”

  “How many times do I have to tell you I can take care of myself?”

  Okay, so I wasn’t really annoyed about that part. More because he’d got us a double room so I’d have to sleep next to him. And yes, I’m well aware I’d done that on a few occasions, but we were supposed to be doing the friends thing.

  “Don’t argue with me about this, Jen.”

  “Couldn’t you have at least got us a twin room?”

  “They didn’t have any.”

  I wasn’t sure whether I believed him or not. Instead of pressing the subject, I grabbed my bag from him and stomped into the bathroom to get changed, cursing myself inwardly for insisting on coming on this trip with him. Why hadn’t I just stayed at home? I didn’t want to be alone. Liora and Dante had gone to bed early. I thought I’d at least have got to spend the evening with Brent without interruptions. No such luck.

  I got ready for bed quickly and by the time I walked back out into the bedroom, he’d stripped out of his own clothes and was folding back the covers. I tried not to look too hard at his bare chest and the heat which flooded my veins at the sight of it. Chucking my bag on the desk, I got in whilst he went into the bathroom. When he came out, I was flicking through the TV channels.

  “Not tired?” he asked as he slipped in next to me.

  “I am, but I didn’t know if you were.”

  “I could do with some sleep.”

  I flipped off the TV, put the remote on the bedside table and switched off the lamp. For several long minutes, the two of us lay there in silence. I fidgeted. Having him next to me in bed reminded me of things I should’ve left in the past. Except I couldn’t stop those memories flooding back no matter how hard I tried.

  “Brent?”

  “Yes?”

  “Do you want to fuck?”

  “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  What the fuck happened to just friends, Jen?

  “Are you serious right now?”

  “Perfectly.”

  He let out a long sigh.

  “This is exactly what I meant by blowing hot and cold with me. I’m not doing this with you anymore.”

  I turned over on my side and stared at him. It was dark so his features were hard to make out.

  “I don’t know what I want,” I whispered.

  “Then work it the fuck out and stop asking for things I can’t give you.”

  I felt the sting of his words coursing through me, making me realise just how fucked up it was for me to keep doing this with him. Like I hadn’t told myself enough times to stop thinking about him. To stop craving his touch. To stop wanting it to be more when it couldn’t.

  “I’m sorry.”

  I turned over and pulled the covers higher, holding them to my chest. Just another fucked up thing I needed to talk to Jensen about. Another part of me I had to fix. I was tired of being broken. Tired of healing all of my old wounds only to find new ones had opened. And I was really tired of feeling like nothing I did was right. That all of my decisions were somehow ruining things for everyone else around me.

  “Jen…”

  “It’s fine. I get it. I’m just acting fucked up and crazy and you really don’t need that.”

  I felt him shift before his hand curled around my waist and he pressed his chin to my shoulder.

  “You’re not acting fucked up or crazy.”

  “No? Then why do I always feel like I am?”

  His hand trailed up my side before he tucked his fingers under my chin and turned my face towards him.

  “You’re not fucked up.”

  “I wish I could believe you. I can’t even manage to be friends with you without fucking it up. I don’t know how to be normal. I’m not good at any of this.”

  He stroked my cheek, making my skin prickle. I felt all of his warmth and it was soothing. My heart ached with longing. A longing I didn’t want to acknowledge.

  “I like you the way you are, Jen. Flaws and all. You don’t have to be someone else.”

  I felt like my steel fortress had been torn down in that moment. I was just a girl. And Brent was just a boy. One I liked very much. After all this time, I finally saw him for who he was and it wasn’t the dickhead I’d called him for twelve years. No, Brent was nice and he cared a great deal about those who meant something to him.

  So I turned around properly and faced him. I could feel his eyes on me in the dark. It wasn’t me who made the first real move, however, that was all him. His hand fell to my waist and curled under my t-shirt, brushing across my bare skin.

  “Don’t I? Why do I keep getting everything wrong then? I’m exhausted and I feel broken…” I put my hand on his chest. “…right here. I’m trying so hard with therapy but nothing I do feels good enough. That’s not Jensen’s fault though. He keeps telling me it’ll take time and I need to stop pushing myself so much. I don’t know how to mend all my broken pieces.”

  I’d never admitted that out loud. How broken I felt. Not even to Jensen. What Dad did ruined me. And no matter how many times I wrote down what I wanted to say to him, it didn’t make me feel any less angry. I’d been so positive after the nightmares stopped, but now I realised it was only one small step on my journey to recovery.

  “I try to stay positive but I’m all alone in this.”

  His hand on my waist tightened.

  “Have you told Fi you feel like this?”

  “No. She’s never around anymore and I don’t want to burden her.”

  “You’re not a burden on her or anyone else. Why would you think that?”

  I almost scoffed.

  “Yeah right, like you even wanted me here in the first place.”

  His thumb trailed over my bare skin and I shivered. I used to hate how much his touch affected me, but now, I’d accepted there was some kind of weird pull between me and him. Besides, I knew I affected him just as much. He couldn’t hide it from me.

  “I didn’t want you to see where I grew up or my family not because I don’t want you to know me. I just hate this place. I hate coming here with all its reminders. My childhood sucked, Jen. Mum left us when I was nine and Cam was six. Dad has been drinking his life away ever si
nce. Cam had Billy when she was sixteen and by the time Kyle came along, I’d found a way out of this shit. Cam resents me for leaving even though I help her and Dad financially. That’s why she had a go at you, to get back at me. She always pulls this shit.”

  I’d never look down on someone because of where they came from. It didn’t matter to me Brent had clearly been raised on a council estate nor that his family still lived there. Didn’t change who he was just because he came from a deprived background. I might have grown up privileged with money, but I’d had a shit childhood too. Who was I to judge?

  “She’s jealous of what you have.”

  “She’s stuck in the cycle and doesn’t want to pull herself out yet she somehow makes out like all of this is my fault.”

  “It’s not. Don’t let her make you feel bad because you wanted more from life.”

  He let out a long and hollow sigh.

  “I’ve looked after Cam her whole life, she expects me to come running to fix all her problems. She never learnt to stand on her own two feet.”

  “Hey, that’s not your fault.”

  “Isn’t it? I let her become dependent on me.”

  He couldn’t blame himself for his sister’s actions. It made him a good person, wanting to keep his family safe that is.

  “You know, you and Dante are more alike than I realised except I hate how interfering he is.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Overprotective, wanting to take everything on your own shoulders, fix everyone else’s problems… sound familiar?”

  He let out a snort.

  “Okay, I guess you have a point.”

  “Speaking of Dante, did you tell him I came with you?”

  “No.”

  I traced lines with my fingertips along his chest, unable to help myself. It felt like forever since I’d last touched him like this. Felt his bare skin against mine.

  Who am I kidding? Brent and I will never just be friends. I can’t turn off my feelings for him.

  “And here I thought he told you to keep an eye on me for him.”

  “I thought that’s what I was doing.”